52Ancestors52Weeks Week 12 Theme: Loss....The Story of Affa Woodcock Hayman (Boothby/Hayman)

 The theme for this week is loss.  Loss is universal.  It touches everyone at some point  in their lives and in multiple forms.  You can loose a cherished object.  You can loose a loved one.  You can loose your children.  You can loose your livelihood.  You can loose your freedom.  You can loose your ability to tell your own story.  You can loose your life.  

  This is the story of Hannah Aphia "Affa" Woodcock Hayman Kirk (my paternal Great Great Grandmother) and the losses she experienced during her lifetime,  until she eventually lost herself and then her own life.   This is a difficult story to tell, but today I am honoring her memory by relating her life story and the strange events that surrounded her death. 

Back of the above picture.  Joseph Buchtel was one of the earliest photographers in Oregon.  In 1873 he partnered with E.H. Stolte, and they had a gallery on the corner of First and Morrison Streets in Portland (No. 91). That partnership dissolved in 1878.  This picture was taken  between 1873 and 1878.  The Hayman's were living in Portland at the time. 

Top writing: "Mrs. L. Horner (Lillie Mae Horner) Heppner, Ore". My Great Grandmother. 

Bottom writing (upside down) "Mrs. Harry Hayman, Heppner, Oregon". That would have been Harry Rideout Hayman's wife Laura May. Harry was Lillie Mae's brother. 

Side writing on right:  Affa Hayman

This photo ended up in the possession of Terry Boothby (my paternal Grandmother) and came eventually to me. It is one of my favorite photographs on the Boothby side of the family. 

  Hannah Aphia "Affa" Woodcock was born in St. David, Charlotte County, New Brunswick, Canada on 17 March,  1844.  Her mother died when she was 14 years old. By the 1860 US Census the Woodcock family lived in Calais, Maine.  When she was just 16 she married Martin Dinsmore Hayman. 

  

Martin Hayman shared by Ritch Fuhrer on Ancestry.com

  Martin Dinsmore Hayman (my Great Great Grandfather) was born in Robbinston, Maine.  In 1860 he was aged 22, and was working as a laborer.  Calais and Robbinston are about 12 miles apart on the United States side of Passamaquoddy Bay.  Martin and Affa were married October 23, 1860.   Their first child, Holmes Van Buren Hayman, was born in 1864.  Then came Elizabeth "Lizzie" Hayman in 1866, then Lillie Mae in 1870.  

   The Hayman family came from Maine when Lillie Mae was around 6 months old and settled in Portland.  On the 1880 Census Martin's occupation was teamster.   Martin worked for R. Pittock (older brother to Henry the publisher) or Henry Pittock himself as a teamster.  Their last child Harry Rideout Hayman was born in Portland in 1871.  Between 1878 and 1880 Martin drove a horse drawn street car in Portland.  

Horse drawn street cars Portland 1888

   Affa's older sister Harriet and her younger brother Edwin moved to Portland at around the same time as the Haymans.  I can imagine that being close to family again would have been a comfort and support for Affa.  Sadly, Edwin died in 1875 and Harriet died in 1878.  That must have seemed a huge loss.  

   By 1880 the Hayman family had moved to Heppner, Oregon where Martin tried homesteading and  farming on Balm Fork, south of Heppner, Oregon.  Heppner lies about 50 miles south of the Columbia River in northeastern Oregon, and sits on Willow Creek amidst rolling basalt hills and plateaus.  Balm Fork lies several miles from the actual town.  It must have been quite a shock for Affa,  moving from the large and bustling city of Portland to the remote and isolated community of Heppner.  This move set in motion a series of downturns for Affa and her children and eventually led to the loss of her life.  

  The rest of her story comes from Frances A. Cox Griffin, a granddaughter of Lizzie Hayman Cox, sister to Lillie Mae Hayman.  This story was shared on Ancestry.com by Mike Keo, who is a DNA cousin.  She wrote these stories in 1969 and they were preserved by her family.   Her words are in quotations.  

  "Hard times came to Hannah (Affa) as in 1882 she gave an affidavit for her daughter to marry F. D. Cox."  (This would be her older daughter Lizzie). "In it, she states that 'Lizzie is past the age of fifteen and that I am the mother of Lizzie I. Hayman and have sole care of my family including Lizzie. My husband having left me with my children to care for without his aide and support.'  At the age of 14 Lizzie was 'lent out' as an indentured servant".... (She was in service in the family of George Herrington in Heppner.)... In 1884 she gave her consent for Lillie to marry Silas Horner." Lillie Mae would have been around 14-15 years old at the time of her marriage. 

   This loss must have been enormous for Affa and heartbreaking.  For unknown reasons Martin left her and she suffered not only economically but emotionally as she let her two daughters go at such an early age. Although not that uncommon at the time, the early marriages of her daughters took away their company and much needed help.  Her oldest son was living with Martin who was working at the Star Boarding House in Dayton Washington as a clerk.  Her youngest son Harry was around 13 years old and was probably living with Martin until 1886 when he moved back with her.  So, she lost not only her husband, but her daughters and sons as well. She probably could not support her children with the mending and sewing she did to earn money.   She ended up doing what most women did at that time after the loss of a husband and economic stability;  she remarried.

  "On 26 October 1885 Hannah married William Whitney Kirk. They lived on his ranch six miles north of Heppner. I believe this was on Blackhorse Canyon.  She had maintained her family by doing sewing for women in the Heppner area.   She must have continued this practice after her marriage.  This was not a happy marriage and on the 15th of August 1886 Hannah was ill and asked her husband of one year to take her into her daughters in Heppner.  He refused and the next morning she was evidently too ill to eat but drank a cup of coffee and started to Heppner on foot.  It was six miles to town and she bundled some clothes and some work she was doing for a Mrs. Blackman and although her son Harry who was living with her went to get his pony for her she did not wait, telling him she was going to town and not coming back.  Harry was 14 at the time."

  "Hannah got about two miles and stopped at the A.S. Wells home probably for help.  The Wells family was not home. She went to the well for a drink and then into the house.  She came back out and layed down on a 'straw tick' mattress in the yard.  She then went back into the house where the Wells family, at least Mr. Wells, found her dying on his return home.  And on her last trip into the house, stopped and leaned against the door casing.  She must have been in a lot of pain.  In spite of Mr. Wells attempts to revive her she lived but a few minutes."

  She stated that she was going into town and 'not coming back'. What did that mean? Was she so despondent that she was thinking of leaving William Kirk? Or was she thinking about something entirely different?  Was she even able to think coherently on that morning? Had she lost herself entirely at that point due to actual illness or was it profound depression? Francis Cox Griffin had questions, too......

  "There was in inquest into her death, and though they were thorough for that day and age, I feel there were many extenuating circumstances that were not paid attention to, possibly because they didn't even know what these signs meant at the time.  In any case, the ruling was suicide. I have included the following pages to bring these other issues to light." 

State of Oregon 

County of Morrow

In the matter of Coroners Inquest at S. S. Wells place four miles north of Heppner in Morrow County, State of Oregon, on the body of one deceased supposed to be Mrs. W. W. Kirk--August 15 1886. 

The following named persons were duly impowered and sworn as Juror

D.W. Horner, G.W. Shipley, J.D.L. Lockmane, E. Nordyke, John McEntire, Thos. Morgan

(Daniel Webster Horner was the brother of Silas Richard Horner who married Lillie Mae Hayman)

Evidence Adduced

A.S. Wells  Sworn-says

Came to my house at about half past ten this morning. Saw the door open. Went thru and saw a woman seemingly in a fit.  Rubbed her hands with camphor and tried to revive her, but she died within five minutes after I arrived.  Seen her bonnet on the table and bundle of clothes on the floor--saw a teacup containing what appeared to be poisoned wheat--Had not seen her about my place before--When I first seen deceased her lips were blue-Eyes rolled back-lips quivering-Did not notice cramps in hand-Think she was breathing when I went into the house.  No froth or discharge from the mouth.  When I saw she was dead.  Straytned (sp) her head-Her hands were on her breast.  Found no writing about the house-My residence is four miles north of Heppner in Morrow County.  Believe saw track which I think was that of the deceased going up the road and into my house from there to the well and back-Recognize hat and gloves present as those of the deceased-Had some poisoned wheat over sitting in the house which has not been touched.

W. W. Kirk Sworn said--

Recognized deceased as Hannah Kirk, my wife.  Last saw her alive about half past eight o'clock this morning at my house-two miles from this place.  She wanted to go to Heppner last night-I think it was after she had gone to bed-She was not well.  I did not take her to town-Told her she could go on horseback but she did not do so.  She took a severe cold about three weeks ago and has not been well since.  She acted strange since that time was nervous.  Small things seemed to trouble her.  For some time past parties have been circulating stories to the effect that I turned all of my property over to Jeff (his son)-This seemed to trouble her but she was always wild in talking about it.  Did not know when she started this morning. She dressed in the room where I was lying.  Said she was going to Mr. Horners in Heppner (Lillies) to stay awhile-Took some work she was doing for Mr. Blackman-wrapped up a calico dress for everyday ware-We have lived peacefully together for the past few weeks-Her son Harry lived with us.  Could not get him to do anything while I was away.  He would lie about the work would leave and be gone for several days.  He was at home when his mother left this morning.  He might have left when she did.  Deceased had never said to me that she thought of committing suicide sometimes said in a joke I was getting tired of her.  I had a small amount of poisoned wheat around the place. Don't think there was more than two tablespoons full.  She had it put away.   Was cheerful last night she wanted to know if she could put down some butter for Lillie.  I told her she could.  Deceased got breakfast this morning did not eat anything but drank some coffee.  Seemed to have lost her appetite gradually since she last went to town.  Did not rest well nights.  Coughed a good deal did not complain of heart troubling her.  Has complained of her stomach..

J.H. Gentry Sworn said

Saw a woman near Mr. Wells house going toward the well and returning to the house.  After a minute came out and went to a straw tick back of the house.  Went back to the house.  When she came back to the house the second time stopped in the door and leaned against the door post saw no more of her.  Then supposed it to be Mr. Wells daughter.  Soon after this perhaps an hour Os Wells called my house and wanted me to come quick said that a woman was dying at the house and they did not know who she was.  Came down when I arrived she was dead to all appearances. Her color was blue around the nose and a spot on the neck.  Expression of face natural, not painful, mouth slightly open.  Was acquainted with her have know her five years.  Recognized body as that of Mrs. W.W. Kirk-last saw her alive about three months ago.  

Harry Hayman Sworn said

Body present is that of my mother.  Saw her at home this morning.  She started out on foot this morning and said she was going to town and was not coming back.  I told her to wait and I would get a pony for her to ride-she would not wait.  She and Mr. Kirk had quarreled some.  Don't know what about.  Mr. Kirk has not treated her well.  Would not go anywhere with her. She had had no water fit to drink for three days.  She left the house about an hour before I did.  I went to hunt my pony when she started.  Bundle and parasol shown witness, which he recognized as that of decease that she had with her when she left home. I know where poison wheat is kept about the house.  None has been used that I know of since I have been living there.  Have lived with mother since last May last.

Her appetite has been poor lately she ate nothing this morning drank a cup of coffee.  Has coughed much lately.  Would get tired and rest occasionally when at work.  Sometimes would help me run after the hogs and complain of being tired afterward.

W.W. Kirk recalled

"Produced can about 1/8 full of Wakleys squirrel poison.  Said it was the same can his wife had-There was more in it than he thought there was-said "Can't tell whether any has been taken out lately or not--found can where my wife kept it". 

A.S. Fox Sworn said

After careful examination of the body of deceased and the circumstances connected with her death.  I conclude that death was cause by taking poison-It is my opinion that it was strychnine. 

Facts-A teacup containing a small amount of wheat (moist) was standing on table in same room where deceased was found.  Experiment with same on a chicken proved it to be poisoned.

State of Oregon

County of Morrow

I hearby certify that the foregoing is a true copy of all the proceedings of the inquest as indicated by heading of said copy and that this bill of expenses the results attached is a true account of the cost of said inquest that the same was all necessary expense. 

Signed this 20th day of September 1886

C.M. Wollery 

Court of Morrow County

We the jury duly impowered and sworn to hold inquest upon the remains of Hannah Kirk found about five miles north of Heppner Morrow County, Oregon, on the 15th day of August 1886.  The said Hannah Kirk came to her death by means of poison administered by her own hands,

Dated August 15, 1886

D.W. Horner, G.W. Shipley, J.D.L. Lockmane, E. Nordyke, John McEntire, Thos. Morgan.

 We will never know the true details of the morning.  Affa's voice was officially silenced by her neighbors and her husband who made the final pronouncement of suicide.  Was it really suicide? Or was she slowly being poisoned by her husband who seemed indifferent and uncaring to her well being. She seemed to be a lost soul in that marriage, and became powerless to assert herself.  Was she suffering with depression after experiencing so many losses during her short life time?  Or, was she suffering with a long term illness such as tuberculosis?  It was a tremendous loss for her children, certainly.  She was only 42 years old.  

W.W. Kirk died in 1912 and was buried in the Penland Cemetery in Lexington (down the road from Heppner).  A.W. Wells who gave sworn testimony to Affa's death died in the 1903 Heppner Flood. Francis and Nancy Schaffer Gentry lived up Willow Creek and their son J. H. Gentry may have been another witness to give sworn testimony as a witness.  His name was James Hiram Gentry.  Martin Dinsmore Hayman died in 1906 and was buried in Kent, Sherman County, Oregon.  

Martin Hayman's Obituary shared by Ritch Fuhrer on Ancestry

 This is the only record of where Hannah Aphia "Affa" Woodcock Hayman Kirk is buried.  She is buried in the Heppner Memorial Cemetery in an unmarked grave.  All was not lost, however, as all four of her children lived long, resilient lives and raised remarkable families.  My last picture is of all four siblings in their older years. 

Left to Right:  Holmes Van Buren Hayman, Lizzie Hayman Cox, Lillie Mae Hayman Horner Boothby, Harry Rideout Hayman.  Picture shared by RobertPotter62 on Ancestry.